Thursday, February 10, 2005

"Why Are Women So Difficult?!"

I find myself trying to answer more and more difficult questions.:P

Women- difficult?

Serious bo?!

The reflections on the 'pains' that I came across during my pilgrimage seemed to have suggested otherwise, though. Haha.

Yes, I am biased. I am after all, a woman :)

Perhaps, what we find most difficult about being a woman is her torn-disposition of the temptation of leaving very obvious trails for a man to follow, or to wait silently for that particular man to lead her.

An obedient woman (and we should never be afraid to use this term) would submit to God by waiting in silence. There is a dangerously fine line drawn between letting a man lead and the woman follow suit, and a woman dropping hints and let the man follow her trail. Practising the latter would not be consistent with the order of creation and the biblical nature of men and women but we find that both men and women; Christians or non-Christians have become very accomodating to this approach of courtship.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote in Passion and Purity." Adam needed a helper. God fashioned one to the specifications of his need and brought her to him. It was Adam's job to husband her, that is, he was responsible- to care for, to protect, provide for, and cherish her. Males, as the physical design alone show, are made to be initiators and females, the receptors. It was not arbitrary that God called Himself Israel's Bridegroom and Israel His Bride, nor Christ the Head and the Church the Body and the Bride.The spiritual paradigm defines the relationship of men and women, specifically of husbands and wives, since that is the central human union. Adam and Eve made a mess of things when they reversed roles. She took the inititative, offered him the forbidden fruit, and he, instead of standing as his protector, responded and sinned along with her. It's been chaos ever since".

However, at the same time; we may have forgotten that women are also very emotional beings; and tend to cling on to the promises that the particular man has made to her. A woman may not respond immediately to the man's offer ( a subtle offer is nonetheless, still an offer) but would however, have bound herself with the promise (whether directly made, or indirectly made) that such man have made to her when they reveal their feelings for each other; to each other.

The problem begins when a man reveal his feelings to a woman , without putting much thought on whether there would be further development towards beginning a life together. If there is no such certainty of an intention to begin the relationship, a woman is contented in not knowing of that man's true feelings at all because much of the pain, confusion and devastation of pining alone could have been averted. What I want to stress here as a woman, is that a woman would be emotionally-attached to the man whom she has put much prayers and thought in contemplating a relationship with; hence, the man has to be sure of the road that is laid before him before any of these confessions take place.

Men, let not the women in your inner most thoughts be put in a misery of self-deception because of your uncertainties.

Women are not difficult, only too simple.

This is the point I want to make.


Blogger discordant_dude said...

An obedient woman (and we should never be afraid to use this term)...AMEN!

Women are not difficult, only too simple...can I veto this? :)

But point taken. We've got lots to learn.


3:34 AM  
Blogger Aronil said...

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12:43 AM  
Blogger Aronil said...

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1:02 AM  
Blogger Aronil said...

Girl, you have gotten down the main problem that guys never seem to understand and always take for granted. You have captured the essence of why women behave the way they behave. It is also one problem which men will never understand or see and sometimes take for granted. Bad enough that they aren't sensitive by nature ^_~

Nothing is ever ok once they've poured out how they feel or even if they actually show subtle interest. Reminds me of my friend who foolishly led hersel to believe this male of a man was actually a nice person and could actually maintain a long distant relationship with her which wasn't even a real relationship....more in my blog...

But what i'm glad about is that where sometimes even i fail to explain why i act particular to certain things at least you have now put down into words. You have also put down into words where even i sometimes stumble upon because frustration of the situation ommits me from telling exactly how it is. But i tihnk we can safely say i was able to express what i wanted to be said...looking at the status i'm in now =P

Men do read this and ponder about it before you go pursuing a female. And don't think it's a wonderful thing that you all can go about just telling how you feel towards each girl. Have some respect for the women around you and you will se you have a lot to gain from it. No lie ^_^.

1:19 AM  
Blogger tehtarik said...

enno@j left a poignant message via sms today- "Because I am a woman doesn't make me a different Christian, but because I am a Christian, it does make me a different woman."-Elisabeth Elliot.

Thanks, enno@j- may His loving hands continue to mould you into a woman of beauty. Funny, as I am writing this, the song "You make me feel(like a natural woman)" by Mary J Blige appears on the radio. Wow, wow.:)

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


wow, ur blog make me ashamed!
Well, good entry about being woman.
the church I come from, being woman and intelligent, and useful at the same time can be antagonistic to being obedient and submissive.
But then again, obedience and submission require strength.

However, the point about woman being just too simple,... hmm..too much tea that day you wrote that?

12:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, this is how i feel and what I think. Can disagree with me hehe :)
I agree with you that a man should initiate. And i think that a woman should wait until the man actually shares his feelings and his intention to start a relationship first before she actually considers. The things that woman should consider not just base on her feelings but also think rationally and should see whether the man is certain of his decisions or not.
(this is to avoid being too emotionally attached to it).

5:02 PM  
Blogger tehtarik said...

Welcome, fooji. Maybe I owe some men clarification on what I meant when I said that women are not difficult, only too simple. When a man revealed his feelings to the woman he loved, whether or not he had any intentions of blossoming these verbal actions into a relationship with her; the woman; should she have similar feelings for the man; would somewhat have expected a progress from the act of revealing each other's feelings to the blooming of a relationship. She would have thought that there was already a start of courtship somewhere and foreseen continuous flow of that courtship until a time when both of them are ready to commit and become witnesses to each other's lives. Therefore, women think simply in the sense that we would be looking forward to the day when we will walk side by side with the man we love, God willing; but would not in any way expect a man to merely confess his feelings of love to us "as he feels like it" without any inclinations to seriously consider being in a relationship with us.
It's a paradox, I know- to be both simple and at the same time; extremely complicated- which is why; enigma breeds attraction, I gather? :)

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The irony of reality is this paradoxical unexpectedness, Simplicity really IS complex.

May I quote a surprising statement by a female friend, "Women are [among] the most dangerous things in the world. They are hazardous to Men's health."If a woman is like poison to her man, my guess is; the potent ingredients come from the great myriad of emotions that are being concocted at every moment in her heart, that deadly department. I learnt to be careful when women mention "chemistry", one of their top ten "relationship phrases". That word is deadly.

On the other hand, many men I know, willingly and voluntarily chant this mantra:

If love is like a poison that slowly kill,
Let me die, let me die, loving you, loving you.
Oh, fools only falleth in love! But let me also eat my own criticism.

Thanz for your reflections, Sis. Plan to write a textbook? "Women-For Dummies"...


4:37 AM  
Blogger tehtarik said...

Plan to write a textbook? "Women-For Dummies"... - Jack

"Am I my brothers and sisters' Aunt Agony?" :)

The thought of women being poisonous and hazardous to men's health have me imagining Poison Ivy seducing Batman and Robin- even superheroes fell for such traps, what more can we say about Abu, Ah Beng and Muthu! Fret not, the word 'chemistry' is, as a matter of fact; an over-stated scientific term, merely to give more variation to the ambiguity in the faculty of emotions of a poor soul.Perhaps, some words are better left in the confines of a laboratory. However, I do agree that when it comes to attraction between two people, we find difficulty in explaining the way we feel, with reason.But, that itself cannot justify our blind acts simply because it involves our emotions. We have fallen behind greatly because we have allowed our own desires to rule us, instead of being ruled by God's Will. A relationship, especially between Christians; is never meant to be between 2 people only and never about these 2 persons only. We would be making ourselves gods if we were to behave that way.

5:57 PM  

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